Choosing (well) what defines us
We all have defining experiences in our lives – an event or situation that becomes a driving force behind our actions and therefore our lives.
Of course for some their triumph over Myalgic Encephalomyelitis or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome is their defining moment. “If I can beat this then I wonder what else I can achieve” – and they begin to look at other areas of their life they can change. The meaning they place on their Lightning Process success, allows them to make new decisions about their health and life. They can go on to create extraordinary lives and I am continually inspired by their achievements.
For others it is ‘lost years’ of CFS/ME that is their defining moments. I often hear people say “Never again will I take my health for granted or do things which may compromise my health”. These people often see ME and CFS as their teacher and the years as a valuable journey to wellness.
Over the years many people have shared with me their defining moment. What has become clear is that it isn’t the circumstance that defines us but the meaning we place on the circumstances.
Some people point to a ‘bad event’ as the reason why their lives are so bad, others point to a similarly ‘bad’ event as the reason they made changes and have an amazing life today.
People unfortunately can get ‘stuck’ in their defining moment when all that is required is to dramatically change the meaning they place on it.
The great thing is that we can choose what will be our defining moments. It doesn’t matter if they were positive or negative, it is the meaning we choose to place on it that makes the difference to our lives. So choose carefully.
Twin brothers were once interviewed about their upbringing under a violent alcoholic father. One had spent most of his life in prison the other had become a gentle well-respected priest. When asked about their life they both responded the same way– “growing up with a father like mine I had no choice. It’s because of my father that I am like I am today”.
Clearly they just chose very different meaning to the same circumstance. So when times are tough make them a defining moment for positive change.
You can then ask “Because of this, what am I willing to do to make change. Because of this what am I no longer willing to do? What will I take from this that will benefit me?
Life happens but we choose what meaning we place on it.
You can probably guess some of my defining moments by looking at my ‘About Me’ page. It is because of those horrible CFS days that I now have my drive and passion to ensure that others learn how to return to a full and healthy life.
You can probably guess some of my defining moments by looking at my ‘About Me’ page. It is because of those horrible CFS days that I now have my drive and passion to ensure that others learn how to return to a full and healthy life.